Ladies ~
This is a great section of my book ” Fascinating Womanhood” from Helen Andelin. I think it is important for wives to understand that this is a very serious part of the nature of men. This can improve your marriage if you respect and honor and understand your husband in this area.
The Lord brought this book into my life when our twins were about 2 years old. I am so thankful for all the helpful advice Helen Andelin gives. I highly recommend it to you as well. It can save a dying marriage and it can enhance an already good marriage.
I think every woman needs the practical teaching this book contains. Here is a little sample from chapter 5 I will share with you.
Beware of your own pride that made get in the way of truly treating your husband like a king and honoring him as he should be honored. It pleases the Lord for us to esteem our husband above ourselves. God is the one who created our wonderful husband with this sensitive pride and we don’t need to tear them down but only build them up. In return they will love and cherish us as we so desire them to do ~
May God bless your marriage and home ~
Teresa Haley
What are men proud of ? He is proud of his manly qualities. He likes to show them off, to call attention to them in both conversation and actions. Like every male creature from the peacock and the rooster, to the bull and the lion, he likes to strut before the female of the species and show what manly powers are his. He likes to enjoy the admiration which these traits arouse.
But it is here man is most vulnerable, for his pride is extremely sensitive. He cannot bear to have masculinity belittled, ridiculed, or treated with indifference.
When a man is belittled it is humiliation he suffers. It can be a sharp-bladed cutting sensation, or a crushing feeling. Whatever the forms of humiliation, it is a painful experience.
When a man is belittled frequently he tends to build a tight wall of reserve around himself – an impenetrable barrier against those who have offended him.
Occasionally a man will clam up and not talk at all. This is calling going into his shell. It is as though he has climbed inside himself, locked the door and pulled down the blinds. It is difficult and seemingly impossible to get next to him.
How to Break down the Wall ~
1. You must accept him. If you continue your criticism or dissatisfaction of him, he will not feel like exposing his innermost feelings to your unappreciative attitude.
2. Admire his masculinity. Your admiration will do more to break down his reserve than any other effort you can make.
3. Cease belittling him. You will have to eliminate any remarks which crush his male ego.
4. Don’t be critical of others. If you are a backbiting fault-finding woman he will never trust his precious thoughts to you.
5. Hold confidences sacred. You must prove that you will not repeat to others the things he confides to you.
Remember : Nothing but the absolute certainty that he will not be met with further ridicule or indifference will induce him to lay down his armor of reserve.
A review of masculine traits that are important to him ~
Physically
It is his strength, his body structure, and his sexual abilities
Spiritually
It is his courage, honor,determination, aspirations and ideals
Mentally
It is his cleverness, intellectual gifts, achievements, leadership,skills
note from Teresa:
Even though this book was written in 1963 it is still very practical for today’s marriages. There are so many powerful tips and training ideas in this book. Helen Andelin writes in a very how-to manner and speaks very plain on how a woman can improve her marriage. She also wrote Fascinating Girl, which I bought for my daughter (at age 19) She has learned so much and highly recommends it to unmarried young ladies. I pray this is a blessing to you !
Practical Housewifery 
Helpful article, I’ll try this approach since the others fail.
I pray this will be a blessing to you Patricia. I highly reccommend this book. It turned my marriage around 18 years ago for the better !!!
God Bless ya ~
Thank you, this is good information and information much needed to remind us women and wives.
What I am about to share may seem strange to some, but since this was written about the “nature of man” it is paramount to reflect on just this – his nature…man’s purpose and meaning. As Christians we believe that man (male and female) was created in the image and likeness of God. If the male is made in God the Father’s likeness then he discovers his call to fatherhood.
Today’s culture undermines this divine plan through the now “normal” acceptance of contraception. This is one element in marriages has had an enormous impact on man and his dignity as husband and father and how he understands himself in light of the contraceptive culture. His very nature and calling is to love as God loves – to love…freely, totally, faithfully and fruitfully.
Interesting timing of the book. Have we as women also lost our understanding of the “nature of woman” made in the image and likeness of God and our call to love as God loves?
Let us reflect on the issue of “pride” also – so as not to puff our husbands, but to embrace our spouse as the Beloved in the Song of Songs – with respect and admiration and with a grateful heart.
Dana
Reblogged this on ax subarashi.