How Women try to change their Husbands ~

Hello friends, greetings in the lovely name of the Lord Jesus !

We have all heard that we should accept our husband and not try to change him. Some have even said “make sure you know what your getting into, because after you get married, he won’t change.”

I have found out after almost 27 years of married life. that only the Lord can change the heart of a man or a woman. But, fervent prayer is very powerful in changing the heart in the right direction. But, I know for sure a husband does not respond well to pressure to demanding him to change, anything. Nor, do they respond to negative comments or nagging.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.  Col. 3:18

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.   Eph. 5:33

Here are a few ideas I gleaned from my book : Fascinating Womanhood, by Helen Andelin. Hope it encourages you some as you choose to honor and reverence your husband.


1. In their personal habits: appearance, bad temper, careless driving, untidy habits, etc…

2. How he spends his time: sporting events, church responsibilities, napping, T.V, work aholic, etc…

3. Duties: home repairs, yard work, painting, etc…

4. Social Behavior: talk too much, careless conversation, lack of courtesy, friend choices, etc…

5. Desires and Dreams: zest for living, no ambition, no imagination, etc…

6. Manly accomplishments: past mistakes, hasty judgements, fail to lead. etc…

7. Money: management of money, stingy, spending without consulting his wife, etc…

8.  Neglect of children:  training or caring for the children, discipline, etc…

9.  Religion:  will not attend church, pushy on convictions, lack of interest, etc…

She says that women should not try to change their husband for 4 main reasons.

1.  It causes major marriage problems.

2.  It can destroy love.

3.  It dosen’t work.

4.  It can cause a man to rebel.

Every man wants to live in peace. Every man wants approval.  When you pressure him to choose between his freedom and “peace in the household”. Sometimes he chooses peace and sacrifices his freedom. 

So what are the practical steps we can take to accept him as he is and not try to make changes 🙂

1. Get rid of our self righteous attitude.

2.  Look at his better side.

3.  Don’t use other men as shining examples.

4.  Tell him that you accept him. You must tell him, he can not read your mind.

A few final thoughts :

And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?   Matt. 7:3

Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?  Matt. 7:4

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.   Matt. 7:5


Published in: on July 1, 2012 at 4:15 pm  Comments (1)  

One CommentLeave a comment

  1. So encouraging! I can see where I have tried to change my husband and where it has went terribly wrong! After 16 years, we are moving into the happiest years of our life! And I truly do feel it’s because of learning the lesson of keeping my opinions to myself. This was a tough lesson but needed and necessary to appreciate what he is even through his faults! Thanks again for encouragement!

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