Tips for Training children 12-17 yrs. old ~

Let thine eyes ~

Tips for Training children 12-17 yrs. old

Written by Teresa Haley 2013


First let me say that children are NOT fully trained by the age 18, but after the 17th year you will begin to reap the harvest of your child training years. The 17th and 18th year of a child’s life can be the most rewarding or the most painful and lots of that harvest depends on their training during the years of adolescence.

At 12 yrs. old children begin a whole new growth and maturity.  So many hormonal changes take place. One day they seem like a small child again and the next day they seem very mature and stable.  This is the rocky years. The years to be the most alert and on top of your parenting game.  This could be the years to make it or lose it with your children’s hearts.

Most parents fail in these crucial years because they are so weary from child training and are ready for a period of rest. But this is definitely not the years to rest they are still a few years away. This is the years for strictness, tight guidelines, rules, openness, respect, obedience and lots and lots of hearty counsel.

By age 12 spanking the child with the rod have almost been eliminated and the need for a different type of discipline is needed. I am not saying there is never a need to spank after age twelve, because there are times for it.  I have even given spankings at age 15 when then was needed and effective.

During the years of 12-17 the good parent needs to be reading every bit of good godly advice they can find. They also need to require the child to read every profitable book that will build their thinking habits in the right way.  This is the years that the parent still has the say on what they CAN do and CAN NOT do so don’t let those days escape you and not use them to the best of your ability.

A lot of parents make the mistakes of wanting to be the 12-17 yr. olds best friend during these ages. This is not the years for that entirely. This is the coaching and training for adulthood years and the friendship/buddy years will begin when the child is safely into adulthood around 20 yrs. old. So be diligent and determined to stay with your goals and desires for your children at any cost during those preteen and teen years.

This season of a child’s life they now have so many choices and freedoms available to them. It is the PARENTS job and responsibility to choose and to help them choose the best options for there their lives.  Don’t be a coward and become victim to peer pressure to allow your 12-17 yr. old to do what everyone else is doing if it puts a red light or warning into your spirit.  Remember the goal of where you want your children to be by the time they are grown.

Many good meaning people will try to get you to loosen up or say the child is big enough to make their own choices, they are not!!!!  God has placed you over them and YOU will be the one that will answer for the choices that are made.  Be strong, be courageous!!!!!

Some of the areas I want to talk about today concerning 12-17 yr. olds are:

  1. Girls mature differently than boys
  2. Training boys with hard hard work during these years
  3. Speaking respectfully and mannerly
  4. How to address adults when spoken to
  5. Training future homemakers through – homemaking skills
  6. Keeping the body hygiene/ responsibilities
  7. Apprentice for boys – working with godly men
  8. Boyfriend/girlfriend game – defrauding your brother, purity
  9. Struggles with sexual desires and temptations
  10. Keeping their hearts in the church and out of the world (music, videos, media, friends)



Bless you and may God give you the strength to train your children in the fear and admonition of the Lord during these crucial years of training preteens and teens.  If you sow bountifully you will indeed reap bountifully, but if you reap sparingly you unfortunately will reap sparingly as well. It is possible to raise Godly children that will be a joy to you and to the kingdom of God, but it will not be achieved without a HUGE INVESTMENT of time, prayer, diligence and determination.

So strap up your boots and get ready for the best days are ahead!!!

Sincerely yours in Christ,

Teresa Haley


Published in: on February 7, 2013 at 3:29 pm  Comments (1)  

One CommentLeave a comment

  1. Thank you for posting this and the previous one. My son is 15 and needs a reminder every now and then with not “back- talking me.”

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