Help Meet ~

Traits of a Good Help Meet

* She acknowledges the “good traits” in her man.
* She speaks of her husband with esteem.
* She defers to him.
* She never responds to him with scorn or ridicule.

Try to show your husband noticeable esteem at least three times a day. Plan small habits you can establish that will make it easier to remember, until giving him deference comes naturally.

taken from my book ~ Created To Be His Help Meet, by Debi Pearl

Published in: on August 14, 2010 at 6:03 pm  Comments (6)  

6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. The timing of your post is God-timed! I am currently reading (again) “Created to be His HelpMeet” and have been spending much time in thought and prayer about my helpmeet role.
    Thanks so much for your encouragement & wisdom in many areas of the Christian women’s life. I really enjoy your blog!


  2. It is refreshing to see in print that it is okay for women to praise and esteem their husbands. For so many years we hear women complain or act as if they are having to “put-up” with their husbands. It is so sad to hear women who speak poorly of their husbands, and who speak to others of their husband’s faults or weaknesses. It is a good and right thing for a wife to honor and speak favorably of her husband to others, to their children and to all acquintances. Thank you for the post.

  3. Yes, I have this book. It is very good. I would definitely encourage anyone before reading it to do it for the Lord, no matter what, because sometimes Satan will taunt women through their men and see how much good they can squeeze out of there wives before she breaks and if she does it for the purpose of her husband changing well, Satan might have an agenda if it’s for the wrong motives. I think this was said in her book somewhere but it’s hard to pay attention to that because the back cover throws some women off the correct perspective of why they should be doing good and submitting and reverencing them in the first place. They are doing it unto the Lord and not for the purpose of there husbands acting like a saint. That is definitely something I have learned in my marriage. Sometimes the husband will get worse after the woman acts kindly towards him. In times like that I would say to them to lean into God when your husband returns your good with evil. This is possible and God will help. He has helped me. I even catch glimpses now and again of my husband becoming a good man. But that is not promised in the Bible. It is only by grace if he ever gets born-again. It’s not by my works. I am not responsible for my husband being a jerk. I think that probably was not understood in the book by me as well. I mean, it may be that some men may be taunted by they’re wives to behave a certain way or even cheat but in the end God will hold him accountable for his own actions and not the wife. Sorry this was so long but I really got into that book for the wrong reason and that was probably just my fault for being focused on myself instead of my Lord. Sorry this was so long. I understand if you don’t want it posted. I’ll probably turn this into a post over at my blog sometime. I love your blog. God bless you!

  4. To be a helpmate, as God has planned us to be is so important – but can be very difficult when married to an unbeliever (see link). In particular the last line (She never responds to him with scorn or ridicule.) meaning that an unbelieving husband often does just (scorn and ridicule) that it requires much patience and holding ones tongue. I must look this book up.

    Another book I found very helpful is “The Fruitful Vine” by Warren Henerson – the role of the wife to her husband is so clearly spelled out. I thought it was a great book.


    • I will take a look at the link. BTW, I made a blog post that honors my husband over at my blog if you’d like to come check it out. ( I’d be most honored.

      I hope I never came accross like I meant to bring him dishonor on my comment. I apologize if it seemed that way. I just wanted to emphasize what some women don’t realize about doing things unto the Lord, because that was something I learned the hard way. Enough about that!


  5. I was doing pretty well in this area after I read this post and then.. pms hit.
    Right now it’s all I can do not to say mean things. Luckily, he seems to understand. Hopefully, I’ll be back to my old self… soon! LOL


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