Training Young Men to Honor Women
I taught this lesson from one of my homeschooling books to our son during his 15th year and thought it was excellent for moms with boys especially ages 14-17 years old. Young men around age 15, especially have the hardest time with submitting and honoring their mothers. This is partly because that are turning into men and they naturally were created by God to be the Head and Authority in the home (in time), but during these ages they need to learn to honor and respect mother so they will be well equipped and trained to deal correctly with their future wife. My prayer is that you will be encouraged to continue to demand respect and honor from your sons and to not let them become dishonoring just because they are bigger and think they are smarter than you are Do a good job and they will honor you and thank you for it in the near future and their future wife will be so glad too !!!!
(Young Men) `HOW DO YOU TREAT THE WOMEN/MOTHER IN YOUR LIFE?
The Bible tells a man to give “honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel.” I Peter 3:7 Although you may not think so now, you will someday desire to have your own wife, and you are encouraged in that direction by God. Prov. 18:22 1 Cor. 7:2 The character traits that you will have as a husband are being formed right now by the habits you have with the women in your life. These women include your mother, your grandmothers, your women teachers, or any other adult women you know or meet for the first time.
To give honor means to dignify, respect, and exalt; to take special notice of, and to elevate in rank or position. The way in which you treat your mother, teachers, and other women in your life will form a pattern of habits. Habits become character. Are you now giving honor to the women in your life? Are you practicing manly behaviors? Will you know how to treat a young woman with honor when you meet the one person whom the Lord has prepared to be your wife? Are you preparing to have a successful and satisfying marriage relationship with a woman when you are a man by practicing and learning to obey God’s Word in I Peter 3:7?
What Things Dishonor a Woman?
To dishonor means to disgrace, to bring shame to, to treat with indignity, to stain the character, or to lessen the reputation of a person. A boy who treats a woman with dishonor is saying through his behavior, “You are less important than I am; you are not a person worthy of my respect.” Phil. 2:3 Listed below are some things that dishonor a woman.
* Disobedience; as if to say, “I know better what I should be doing; you’re not important enough to tell me what to do.”
* Putting your needs first; disregarding her wishes.
* Talking back disrespectfully; disrespectful looks.
* Disregarding the counsel and instruction given to you by a woman.
* Treating a woman as you would treat a man.
* Disrespectful looks or acts toward others in a woman’s presence.
* Joking about a woman’s habits.
* Joking about or disrespectful looking at a woman’s body.
1. Can you dishonor the women in your life for ten to fifteen years and then be able to give honor unto your own life?_________ Why or why not?______________________________________
2. A boy should_______________________ women so that he can practice ________________ that will later become his_____________.
3. Because of Satan’s hatred of a successful Christian family, he tempts boys now to dishonor the most a ____________________. Is Satan’s plan working in your life? _______
Are you more honoring and respectful toward your mother or toward your Father?____________
How Can I Show Honor to a Woman?
If an adult that you meet or are with is a woman, you should automatically decide to treat her differently than you would a man. “This is a woman. God commands in His Word that I treat my future wife with honor, so I will practice doing that with every woman I meet.”
* Listen silently when a woman talks. Look at her when she talks to you; don’t look away and don’t stare. Be careful of the expressions on your face.
* Be committed to the women in your life, and respect them as God-given authorities. Let your attitude be, “God has placed me under the authority of this woman and He requires that I show her honor, respect, and obedience.” Respect even the unspoken wishes of a woman.
* Don’t lie to a woman. Lying is dishonorable and damages trust.
* Be unselfish; be more concerned with a woman’s needs and desires than you are with your own. Do nothing that might offend her.
* Show to a woman that you care. Be a young gentleman! Be polite and thank her for things she does for you. Ask permission; never tell her what you are going to do, and don’t make demands or beg when she has said, “No.” Give her advance notice about things that you need to have or need to do. Always talk respectfully to her. Answer politely; “Yes, Ma’am,” or “No, Ma’am.”
* Be reserved in rough behavior around women—behavior that would cause a woman to feel threatened with being hurt. Restrain from being too loud, and restrain yourself from crudeness in speech or behavior.
* Never say something bad that would harm a woman’s reputation, and don’t allow others to do that in your presence. Defend and protect her name and decency.
* Make things right if you have acted dishonorably. Ask for forgiveness. Acts 24:16
* Don’t struggle for power over a woman. When you are an adult, God will give you a position of leadership with a woman (leadership does not mean superiority). Learn to become the best follower you that can be of Godly men and women, and later in life the Lord will give you leadership positions. You will be successful in leadership only when you have learned to be a submissive follower of authority.
“. . . As Unto the Weaker Vessel.” 1 Peter 3:7
* Offer to carry things for a woman.
* Open and hold doors for a woman; let a woman go in the door first.
* Offer to help when you see a need. Offer to get needed things, especially when she is sitting down.
* Be protective and defensive.
* Act with gentleness; not toughness.
* Comfort her when she is upset.
* Let a woman choose first.
* Give to a woman your best attitude, speech, and behavior.
Don’t ever cause a woman to be a victim of your cooperation with Satan! Always try to imitate the way a man of God should treat a woman. Make decisions now about how you will treat women, and then be determined to reach your goals!
Place a check by those things you are doing now to show honor to your mother.
1. ______ I am willingly obedient to her commands and unspoken wishes for me.
2. ______I accept “No” without arguing or complaining.
3. ______I open the door for my mother and let her go through first.
4. ______I ask permission to do things rather than telling my
mother what I’m going to do.
5. ______I get things my mother needs and things I need at the table instead of expecting her to do everything.
6. ______ I listen carefully and respectfully when my mother
corrects me or counsels me.
7. ______I always thank my mother when she does things for me.
8. ______ I only say good things about my mother when I’m talking to friends.
9. ______ I never disrespectfully talk back to my mother.
10. ______I’m always careful about the expressions on my face when I’m talking with my mother.
11.______I am submissive and tender-hearted when my mother has to discipline me for something I did wrong.
12.______When I’m at school I honor my mother and I talk, work, and behave as I know she would want me to.
13.______I always tell my mother the truth—even when I know the
truth will cause her to be angry or sorrowful.
14.______I carry things for my mother and offer to do difficult jobs
Make a list of the women in your life that you have difficulty showing honor to. Use a separate sheet of paper if you need more space. On the lines to the right, briefly describe specific things you will do that you are not doing now. Then ask for forgiveness from each one and tell each one how you will behave in the future. Acts 24:16
Acts 24:16______ ______________________________________________________
Questions to Think About and Discuss
1. How should I act toward a woman who doesn’t treat me as I think she should? What should I do if I don’t feel like treating a woman with honor?
2. What should I do or say when I have wronged a woman?
3. What can I do about bad habits I already have toward women?
4. What kinds of things or people in my life will teach me to dishonor and have wrong attitudes toward women?
5. What am I saying with my life when I don’t treat a woman with honor?
6. What does pornography do to women? What harmful attitudes will I learn by looking at it? How will it affect my relationships with young women when I am a teenager?
7. Why do some boys act worse with women than they do around men?
8. If I have bad habits now in my treatment of women, will I know how to obey 1 Peter 3:7 when I get married?
9. How could a boy’s behavior and attitude help to lead an unsaved woman to Christ?
10. What should I say to other boys who are being dishonorable toward women?