Dear “keepers” of the home ~
I read this today and I though about how loose so many of today’s women are in the world and even in our churches. My heart is saddened at how many marriages are falling apart that are well over 20 years into the making. Why ? What is happening? What would cause 50 plus year old men to abandon their homes and families after so many years of investment into a marriage? Could it be a woman with no discretion that lured him from his home?
I feel like most of the blame would fall on women that have no discretion. Either they have never been taught or had discretion modeled for them or they just are totally unaware of the “power” a woman has over a man. When a married woman admires or flirts or is too friendly with a man other than her husband all kinds of red flags should be waving. But unfortunately, so many women of today have no flags or bells and then end up in a relationship with another man that totally destroys them both and their marriages.
Below is a list that I encourage you to read and seriously think on each question. I was challenged to reevaluate how I conduct myself around other men and to try even harder to give all reverence and public admiration only to my husband and to opening display my allegiance to him and him alone.
May God bless each of you as godly housewives and women of God. Lord willing that we would be a light set on a hill. An example for women especially younger women to follow. Let our lives be full of discretion in all our areas of dress and speech and conduct, that our homes would be fortified and protected from the enemy. In Jesus Name ~
Learning to daily trust Him,
Becoming a Woman of Virtue
by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands” (Prov. 14:1).
1. Am I building up my house or tearing it down?
2. Am I investing in my marriage? Am I nurturing the heart of my marriage?
3. Do I frequently express admiration and gratitude to my husband?
4. Am I reserving the best of my physical and emotional energy for my family?
5. Am I creating a climate (through words, actions, and attitudes) that makes my husband want to be at home?
6. Am I content to be “at home”? Am I finding my “fulfillment” through reverencing and serving my husband and family?
7. Do I reserve intimate communication, looks, words, and touch for my husband? Am I giving of my emotions, attention, affection to a man other than my husband?
8. Am I meeting my husband’s sexual needs?
9. Am I trustworthy? Is there any behavior or relationship I am involved in that I am keeping from my husband? Have I been totally honest with my husband?
10. Does my husband have the freedom to be totally honest with me?
11. Am I fueling sensual thoughts and desires through books, magazines, TV programs, music, or movies that are not morally pure?
12. Have I become a “refuge” for a man who may be struggling in his marriage?
13. Am I looking to a man other than my husband (pastor, counselor, colleague) to be a primary source of counsel or to fill an emotional vacuum in my life?
14. Do I have a more intimate relationship—physically, emotionally, or spiritually—with any man than I do with my husband?
15. Does my demeanor tend to be “loud and defiant,” or do I communicate a meek, quiet, and submissive spirit?
16. Am I a “wall” or a “door” (Song of Songs 8:12)? Am I a “loose” woman? Do I communicate to the men around me that I am “available”? Does my demeanor invite them to “partake” of intimate parts of my body, soul, or spirit? Do I engage in flirtatious speech, looks, or behavior?
17. Is there anything about my speech, actions, dress, or attitudes that could defraud the men around me?
18. Am I discreet and restrained in the way I talk with men at work? Is my conversation ever loose, crude, or unbecoming for a woman of God? Am I expressing admiration for a man that should more appropriately come from his wife?
19. Does my dress help men to keep their thoughts pure and Christ-centered? Is my dress feminine and modest?
20. Have I erected (and am I maintaining) adequate “hedges” in my relationships with men? What are those hedges?
21. Am I currently in a situation that is (or could become) compromising? Am I in a situation that could appear to others to be compromising?
22. Would my husband, as well as other men and women who know me, say that I am a woman of moral virtue and purity?
23. Have I purposed in my heart to be morally pure? Am I making myself accountable to my husband and to another godly woman for my walk with God and others?
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies” (Prov. 31:10).
© Revive Our Hearts. Taken from Becoming a Woman of Discretion by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Used with permission
* Take notice of this passage below and consider how vulnerable men really are to the “power” of a women that is using her luring powers.